i was like wow people are taking a really long time on deal in my arena and i refreshed and i was out and i was like ????????????????????????? because i got 150k and then i realized a whole other challenge happened after deal and my dumbass just didnt play it and i think it was burgers so i would've gotten first like ijbol

and i’m just over here being miley

i really just wrote that bc i was having a lot of emotions this morning and writing my feelings out makes me feel better, especially when i do it in a way i can share with others. i appreciate all the love and kind words. i really just wanted to remind everyone to love on their mom if they have the opportunity. losing a parent is something you can’t understand without experiencing. when my mom died, i spun out like crazy. hard drugs, risky sex work, the whole nine yards. when i would have suicidal thoughts as a middle/high schooler, i always said i would have to wait until my mom died to follow through. when that actually happened, it was so surreal. the fact i'm still here is something i genuinely will always be proud of. life has been really shitty to me at times and my brain is an asshole, but i keep moving. this is kinda unrelated but it felt relevant. people can talk shit about these communities and how weird all of this really is when you think about it, but if it wasn’t for Amandasings04, i probably wouldn’t be here. even if i was still here, without her, i doubt i would be in a loving marriage, mostly sober (weed doesn’t count and i like to drink a little on special occasions), and relatively sane. the gay people on your phone really can be your lifeline when you need it. thank you amanda for being my other half and best friend, even when we wanna tear each other limb from limb

some days it just really hits different. it’s been 9 years since my mom died. that really is what divided my life into “before” & “after”. i’m still wishing for the light, drive, and energy the “before” me had. sometimes i’ll see a thing, this time a video of someone talking to their mom on the phone, and it’ll just take me back to when it was fresh. i would move mountains for one more conversation. i’m always wishing she could meet my wife. the day she told me she had cancer, she gave this spiel about all the milestones she’ll miss and that’s the first thing that really broke me. my wife is the most kind, generous, patient, tenacious person i’ve ever known. she reminds me so much of my mom sometimes. i know they would love each other so much and i do feel robbed of their relationship. i grieve that stuff all the time. i wish she would’ve gotten to meet my best friend’s kids. honestly, i just wanna hear her take on so many things that have happened since she left, the serious and the stupid. the insurrection, kamala harris (she would’ve loved her), the 2020 primary (she would’ve probably voted joe biden but would have loved pete and elizabeth warren), felicia and angela on big brother (she would fucking hate angela), survivor 40 and 50, the covid lockdowns. just all of it. when i was in high school, my sister and i would bitch about how she always took 10 minutes to tell a 1 minute story. if given the chance today, i’d listen to her talk for an hour about a 30 second interaction. i know not everyone has the same warm and fuzzy feelings i get when i think about my mom. for those of you with moms who were abusive or neglectful, i love you. for those of you with living moms who deserve to be in your life, please remind her how much you love her. that’s really all i ask. to those of you who are mothers, thank you. moms are the most badass people out there and i’m so proud of you.

cigarette and purse in the same hand.

help me explore my gender fluidity on kovaze.com.

luxray melodrama jdaddy jtee is real and would never celebrate my death the way you 3 did. despicable.

By a vote of 8-2, Andrea Farts, you have been evicted from the SCBB house. 2. Renee Merson 4. Maura Higgins 5. Pauline Potter - 1 POV 1 NOM 7. Omarosa - 1 HOH 2 NOM 8. Meghan McCain - 1 HOH 2 POV 2 NOM 9. Medusaluh 10. Peter Dinklage - 1 HOH 2 POV 1 NOM 11. Amber Lynn Reid 13. Lisa Lampanelli - 1 HOH 1 NOM 14. Amanda Bynes - 1 HOH 15. NeNe Leakes 16. Tati Westbrook - 1 NOM 13th: Andrea Farts - 3 NOM (8-2 against Omarosa) 14th: Sharon Tharp - 1 POV 2 NOM (7-4 against Omarosa) 15th: LolicaPolica Junior - 1 NOM (11-1 against Andrea Farts) 16th: HRHCollection - 1 NOM (7-6 against Andrea Farts) HOH: Peter Dinklage Nominees: Meghan McCain & Pauline Potter POV: Pauline Potter (Used on self) Final noms: Meghan McCain & Lisa Lampanelli Only the first 9 votes will count (or first to 5)!

let's race

AND I SHOULD GO TO BED BUT THAT JUST MEANS WHEN I WAKE UP I HAVE TO GET READY AND GO TO WORK AND WORK IS GOING TO BE HORRIBLE TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M GOING TO GET NO SLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM GAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

but i'm genuinely SOOOO pissed off rn. wait forever to get to play royale again and JUMP on the opportunity for this. get a good start going. get killed by someone who i've helped repeatedly in royales before for literally no reason at all. like....ask anyone i will literally suicide for you to win royale, even if i barely know you, ESPECIALLY if you haven't won before. genuinely makes no sense to do but whatever. shitty end to a shitty day.