BADDIES — Season 1, Episode 2

“Edge Control, Crowd Control” Cold Open (0:00): Ring light wobbling. Two hands locked in deluxe ponytail grip like it’s a handshake from hell. A press-on nails cartwheels, lands on a setting powder puff like a gymnast sticking the landing. Bxran: “SAY SORRY TO MY HAIRLINE!” Wow Platinum: “I DON’T APOLOGIZE TO SYNTHETIC!” Death steps in like TSA with a satin bonnet. Freeze frame → 14 HOURS EARLIER. 1) Breakfast? More Like Brunch Fight (10:02 AM) Naughty Nacho makes “house tacos” and slaps a sticky note: Community, not Communion. Gagaluv arrives in sequins at 10:03: “I only eat drama-free eggs.” Kemi posts a whiteboard: “NO YANKING ABOVE THE EAR. FIGHT FAIR OR FIGHT FAB.” Then xcharliex goes live from the kitchen: “Comment ‘TEAM TACOS’ if you think Nacho is hoarding queso.” TatianaRun speed-walks through the shot like a mall cop in stilettos. harajuku’s edges are so sharp they set off ICameron’s autofocus. Spark: Wow Platinum sprinkles Tajín on her taco—Bxran yells, “THAT’S MY SEASONING, LITTLE MISS SPARKLE!” Wow: “Buy your own couture paprika.” Bxran: “It’s chili powder, you chandelier.” The Skirmish (funny, non-graphic): They hip-check at the island. Bxran grabs a satin scarf; Wow counters with a two-finger clip hold (respectful but shady). Runaways slides a potholder between them like a peace treaty. Josh sprays rose water: “De-escalate and hydrate.” Verdict: Kitchen Probation. They can’t stand within three tiles of each other until noon. 2) The Wig Lottery (12:11 PM) A PR box arrives: “WIG LOTTO — Scratch for Your Unit.” Everyone gets a card. Bxran scratches “30” and screams, “Thirty inches deep wave, baby!” Wow Platinum scratches “HD” and faints onto a beanbag like a Victorian widow. harajuku scratches “Kawaii Bob” and bows to it. Gagaluv scratches “Platinum Shag” and names it Court-Mandated Glam. Naughty Nacho scratches “Mullet.” The room gasps. He hugs it. “I am mullet now.” Kemi: “Install at 3PM. No sabotage, no spirit glue theft.” ICameron: “We will, in fact, be filming sabotage.” 3) Glam Room Doomsday (3:03 PM) Frostbite turns the AC to “Arctic Couture.” Lace glue shivers. Wow needs the ring light. Bxran needs the window. harajuku just needs stickers and quiet. Gagaluv narrates like a nature doc: “Observe the two alpha stylists circling the prey: a single outlet.” Boom—Contact: Bxran reaches for the light. Wow taps her wrist. Grip sequence: clip-snatch—comb flick—elastic grab—mirror dodge. A single bobby pin whistles past Pavard, who catches it midair like a monk and whispers, “Balance.” The Pull (still comedic): Wow has one hand on the back of Bxran’s ponytail—satin glove on, per house rules—while Bxran holds Wow by the install band like she’s ringing a doorbell. They shuffle in circles, the ring light squeaking like a hamster wheel. Death slides a silk pillowcase between the combatants. “Release the lace. Respect the nape.” They let go, gasping but glam. A stray lash clings to xcharliex’s cheek like a merit badge. 4) Pool Detente? (4:40 PM) Peace attempt: a “Float & Forgive” party. Runaways DJs. Nikw98 brings Capri Suns like it’s a field trip. juandav warms up vocals to harmonize with the filter pump (nobody asked, somehow slaps). Cue petty: AngiekStan posts a poll: “Whose install ate? 🍽️” The house splits into Team Window (Bxran) vs Team Ring Light (Wow) within eight seconds. harajuku falls dramatically into the pool to change the subject; wig doesn’t move. Crowd applauds. Gagaluv: “That’s a union wig.” 5) Sprinter Van From Hell (8:20 PM) They head to the club. ICameron mounts a GoPro like it’s National Geographic: Baddies at Dusk. Naughty Nacho opens a bag of hot fries—the room inhales like a choir. Kemi: “Everyone gets ten fries. This is not Versailles.” The Van Bump: Wow and Bxran sit opposite ends—peaceful until xcharliex yells, “Plot twist!” and shakes the van by bouncing in his seat. Hot fries fly. One sticks to Wow’s gloss like a bright orange moustache. Wow: “DELETE THAT.” Bxran: “Leave it; she finally has flavor.” They lean in—not fists, but hair first. Wow taps the Bxran pony like a door knocker. Bxran counters with a two-second lace tug—legal under No-Nape Rule §2. Death extends one arm without looking. Both girls stop like he hit pause on their spines. The van cheers. Comedy, not carnage. 6) Club Chaos & Caption Crimes (10:03 PM) Inside, TatianaRun jogs on beat around the VIP like it’s track practice. AngiekStan gets the DJ to shout, “IF YOUR WIG IS PAID OFF, MAKE SOME NOISE!” Frostbite orders drinks named “Seasoned Shade.” Gagaluv performs a dramatic reading of the bottle menu. xcharliex posts a story of Wow and Bxran back-to-back, caption: “Truce or pre-fight stretch?” Immediately an ex likes it, two op-ops DM mess, and Josh mutters, “Retrograde is ghetto.” Micro-brawl by the bathroom: Bxran bumps Wow’s shoulder (maybe the wall did it; maybe destiny). Wow says “excuse me” like a legal notice. Bxran says “pardon?” like a threat wrapped in manners. Grab. Counter-grab. Quarter-turn. They do a two-girl tango holding each other’s ponytails like dance partners. Security starts to walk over—Death raises a finger: “Educational moment.” They release. Crowd boo-cheers. A woman in line whispers, “10/10 form.” 7) Midnight Tribunal: Edge Court (12:11 AM) Back home, Kemi convenes EDGE COURT. Whiteboard reads: “Ring Light Schedule (odd/even days)” “No Yanking Above the Ear” “Silk Mitts During Hot Topics” “Snack Arbitration (Nacho is Treasurer of Crunch)” Sentences: Wow & Bxran: public apologies with full chest and glitter mic. xcharliex: 24-hour No-Post Probation (cruel, unusual, deserved). Gagaluv: one hour of silence tomorrow before coffee (she screams). Death: promoted to Head of Lace Security (he just nods). They agree—ish. 8) Cliffhanger Gift (1:59 AM) Doorbell. A garment bag sits on the porch with a note: “For THE Boldest Baddie. Wear at sunrise.” Wow Platinum and Bxran say, in precious harmony: “Me.” harajuku clutches her bows like pearls. Pavard breathes like a meditation app. ICameron zooms till pixels cry. CAST WowPlatinum brxan Runaways Gagaluv Frostbite Kemi xcharliex sobriquet harajuku juandav NaughtyNacho Nikw98 ICameron Death @TatyanaRun Josh AngiekStan TO BE CONTINUED… Sunrise. One garment. Two egos. One neighborhood noise complaint.