I have to be honest with myself

This website is not healthy for me lmao, I realized that some time ago then left for a few weeks, and against better judgment came back just to be deeply unhappy again. There's simply too many personalities here that unleash something within me that was dead and buried for a while, and enough names from the past that have treated me poorly or even previously doxxed me for the most part haven't changed, and are simply impossible for me to avoid even with the block function. I don't personally enjoy being in constant fight or flight mode, because paired with already fragile mental health I just lash out randomly, and it's just not a state that's great for me and others to be in because somehow this community is the only place where I lack control over my emotions :) I personally haven't really felt supported by my friends or moderation throughout any of it (and it's hard to entrust yourself to a MOD_Raven or whatever), I have not felt much progress in developing beyond-surface level relationships with people that I didn't previously know, and I find it hard to even have fun playing Frenzy/Arena with people I am already friends with as is. It doesn't seem to particularly matter when you point out how someone wronged you or your friends because the general attitude is it didn't happen to them so why does it matter, and sure in a way my business doesn't have to be everyone else's but when you're put in a situation of someone having to pick a side in a game or another environment, and it becomes a constant that you are in fact not the chosen one, well.. what's the point! I just can't reasonably put myself into these situations over and over again, and so the best call is to just get the fuck out because I don't foresee anything changing anytime soon, and I should really spend my time doing things with more purpose because Points and Koinz on Kovaze are not anything I will be able to put on a CV for a future job application ^_^ Probably will roam around on the Discord for a short while just so people who want to message me that I'm not Discord friends with still can, but eventually I gotta nope out of there too, for now it's time to block the domain on my devices xoxo see u later