Trying to brush my hair. It still looks like shit and I’m still on edge

That we still can’t attach photos to blogs yet

I will explain how the decline of the headphone jack has led to a higher incidence of people blaring shit loudly on their phones in public…

That won’t just be a carbon copy of George W. Bush, like this is basically our seventh consecutive term of this shit Fuck all of this shit. Literally the last thing we needed was a fucking war with another random country

In my dry-as-hell apartment is making me feel like Sisyphus rolling a boulder up a hill.

Wrapping presents is a solid D-tier holiday activity