All Blogs by Malarkey

https://kovaze.com/shopping/313 I need to match cherry Also- I never tried the preview before but I love how you can see the design with your current avatar

I don’t think I’ve even won a game yet?? How pathetic. Every day my rank just sinks lower. I was rank 333 a month ago, nom im 38-something I wish there was more games that weren’t mini game based cause I have no chance I keep seeing various ppl blog that they won their 50th race?!? How???

In the mini games? I don’t want to hear them minus guitar maybe

Okay — quick correction because I am not above being publicly wrong. I wrote that long, embarrassing Chick-fil-A post about seeing Cherry, Brat, and Tryphena. It got weird and loud and slightly unhinged (my bad), so here’s the pared-down, less theatrical truth — and some sincere apologies. To Tryphena: I boxed you into a gag — “three-eyed” as if that explained everything about you. That was lazy, reductive, and dumb. You are way weirder, wilder, and more human than my single joke could contain. Sorry for flattening you into a prop 📦. I meant to capture the uncanny aura, not reduce a person to a one-note bit. To Cherry: I implied you’d ever write “ur” instead of “you’re.” That was disrespectful and hilariously wrong. You have standards — editorial, aesthetic, spiritual. Apologies. Also: congrats again on Celebs 4 - Duos. Big flex. To Brat: you can still fuck off. (Not sorry.) Look, I was starstruck and trying to be funny and mostly succeeded at being an idiot. I blew the moment up into a meme in my head and then tried to share it like it was art. It wasn’t. I’ll be better: fewer assumptions, fewer reductive jokes, more nuance. And if I ever see any of you again, I’ll either keep my mouth shut or ask for the correct quote first.

https://kovaze.com/blog/22464 Follow up to this blog I saw Cherry at Chick-fil-A tonight and I am STILL SCREAMING. Yes, that Chik-fil-a, the homophobic one that serves meat. She was there with Brat and Tryphena — Brat carrying her tote like it contained the secrets of the universe, Tryphena’s three eyes peeking from custom sunglasses, and Cherry’s VEGAS RED HAIR catching every fluorescent reflection like she was some kind of highlighter for the sun. I tried to act casual, but of course she saw me immediately. She looked me over and said, “oh. you’re here. AGAIN. bold. also, wow, this is…a choice.” Then she leaned toward Brat and whispered, “do we let him live? or just…panic him fully?” Brat nodded like it was a tactical decision. Tryphena blinked all three eyes at me. I SWEAR my soul shrank three sizes. Cherry went to the counter. And I mean went to the counter. She ordered like someone designing a vegan apocalypse: a “nugget sandwich with no nugget,” fries seasoned with mood, a milkshake with oat milk and literally a sprig of parsley for luck, and then she asked for a side of chaos. The cashier blinked. Cherry smirked at me and said, “take notes. yes, you. this is performance art. also, lol, yes, I won Celebs 4.” I tried to sit down quietly. Impossible. She caught my eye again. “thought seeing me once was enough? LMAO. sweetie, no.” Then it escalated. A man asked for extra ketchup. Cherry said, “you are placing too much hope in this life. that ketchup will betray you.” A toddler dropped a napkin. “chaos loves you. accept it. or regret it.” Brat started performing some kind of ceremonial straw ritual while narrating in a dramatic whisper: “this is how winners are made.” Tryphena’s third eye blinked in perfect sync with Cherry tapping her cup like a metronome of doom. I almost fainted. At one point, Cherry deliberately dropped her oat latte. Gasps erupted. She picked it up, sniffed it, and whispered, “offended? yes. justified? absolutely.” Then she tossed the napkin to me mid-order. Sharpie words: “ur next” Before leaving, Cherry spun around and said, “next time, bring a notebook. or a therapist. both optional. but you’ll need one.” Brat bowed. Tryphena saluted. Cherry walked out like she had personally stolen the sun and didn’t even notice, her hair catching every single neon and fluorescent reflection along the way. I ate my fries in silence, realizing: meeting your hero is terrifying. Surviving her entourage? IMPOSSIBLE.

After seeing @death and @cocacola12 speak up, I feel like I have to come forward with my own encounter I had just this morning. This is about me #survivingCherry I saw Cherry at Trader Joe’s this morning just after 9 am. I told her how cool it was to meet her in person — the winner of Celebs Season 4 — but I didn’t want to be annoying or ask for a picture. She said, “Oh, like you’re doing now, dairy boy?” (I’m not even from Wisconsin.) I just froze and said “Huh?” but she kept cutting me off, going “Huh? Huh? Huh?” and swirling her iced oat latte like she was casting judgment. Brat, her Brazilian gay best friend, was standing beside her in oversized sunglasses holding a tiny rescue dog that may or may not have been a rat. I walked away, trying to play it cool, but I heard Cherry whisper to Brat, “That one buys non-vegan creamer,” and they both cackled like witches from a Whole Foods coven. When I got to checkout, I saw Cherry again — this time trying to leave with about twelve bottles of kombucha, three loaves of sourdough, and a bag of nutritional yeast without paying. The cashier, being super polite, said, “Ma’am, you need to pay for those first.” Cherry sighed like a martyr and said, “My currency is charisma, babe.” When the cashier started scanning one item twice, Cherry gasped and said, “Scan them individually! Brat, tell her about the electromagnetic vegan grid!” Brat nodded solemnly and adjusted his scarf. The cashier scanned each item like she was performing a ritual. When she told Cherry the total, Cherry yawned dramatically and said, “I’m from Wisconsin, sweetie. We don’t believe in totals.” Then she winked, turned to Brat, and said, “Let’s blow this dairy aisle.” And they did — walking out together, radiant and untouchable, like a cult leader and her favorite apostle, as she shook her glorious tits. I was so stoked to meet her but it did not go as expected. 😕

I know you love me, but say you love me, before I go… cherry

We will not stop We will hide our own items and find them

Who will it be? https://kovaze.com/blog/10000 https://kovaze.com/blog/1000

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Thanks for the gift Faith 😇

That you really wish they would

Best addition yet. Hope we get eggs on the spring

Mycologists make me uncomfortable

Are you only going to log into the game to be inactive? Don't log in if you're not going to play, dude.