I think we're missing the point

Saying “she’s too pretty to be trans” is a microaggression. It implies trans women are supposed to be unattractive or masculine by default, and that mindset is rooted in transphobia. A lot of trans women grow up constantly being told we’ll always just look like men, never be feminine enough, never be accepted, etc. So comments like that are not harmless. And accountability matters. You do not have to be screaming slurs for something to be offensive. Sometimes it is the casual comments people refuse to examine that say the most.