Lowkey Trauma Rant About My Life

So like my entire adult life I’ve craved the feeling of male validation and male protection bc I never got that growing up and I hate it bc I feel like I look like such a pick-me when it genuinely isn’t that. Growing up my dad was my biggest bully he would make fun of me for my weight and consistently shame me any time I ever ate the smallest snack and it developed into me getting bulimia which I’ve had since I was like 14 but ofc whenever I tried telling my family that I think I’m struggling with it my dad said “you’re just being overdramatic” so it went untreated until I was 20 where I finally got it officially diagnosed and my dad STILL TREATS ME THE SAME WAY when it comes to food. So I’ve always hated going on dates to restaurants bc I’m so self conscious by that and with how my dad has behaved to me my whole life I have developed severe daddy issues that make me constantly crave the attention of men! Sorry I’m kinda manic rn and just wanted to get that out