Going through it

About 2 months ago my father blacked out while driving and took out three vehicles in a parking lot. He's lost nearly 40 pounds since the beginning of April without trying and can't lift his arms at all. We've been to several doctor's to try and figure out what's causing everything. Wednesday we got the results back from the oncologist and ruled out a thyroid issue and cancer, thankfully. But, the big scary possible diagnosis from his neurologist is still on the table - which is ALS. This man has been my hero my entire life and I always looked at him as a superhero. To see him struggle to do basic tasks is so hard for me. My brothers are not responsible or even reliable, so I'm having to deal with everything on my own and ensure he's getting to all his appointments since he's not longer able to drive. I put on this brave front in order to deal with the tasks at hand and put my feelings and emotions on the backburner, because I have to. But, I've hit the bottle quite a bit tonight and I'm just not in a good place at all. I'm worried for my Dad and even more scared of losing him.