Hi

So, as many of you are aware I crashed out completely earlier this week, as embarrassing as that is for me to write. I was looking for any excuse at this point to crash out and saw my out with that group game. I would like to state that the group game nor anything from it was the cause of me crashing out. I'd also like to apologize formally to the entire hosting staff and any player, who was negatively impacted by my meltdown on Tuesday. That wasn't fair to any of you, and I sincerely apologize for it. I've hadn't let many people in to my personal life on here, so the vast majority weren't aware of what I've been dealing with. I had talked previously about my father's health issues and that I had dropped everything this spring to move nearly 1300 miles to move to Miami to take care of him and get him back home. I was doing this all on my own without either of my brother's help. I was still paying rent for my place back home as well as a place in Miami. I was also trying to support and be there for two young children who don't fully understand why I'm not there and they can't see me every day. Needless to say the gravity of all this had been weighing on me heavily for awhile. I was to the point where I was drinking a fifth of vodka every two days. Becoming a functioning alcoholic to deal with everything, and it came to a head this week. I was standing in the bathroom with the cold steel of a knife blade pressed to my wrists, ready to end all the pain and emotional distress I've been keeping bottled up for the past several months. And then I thought about my parents and my kids, and I just couldn't press the blade into my skin. I collapsed onto the floor and just broke down. I called my younger brother and let him know what was going on and where I was at mentally. He got ahold of our older brother and they caught the first flight they could down to Miami. They said they would make sure they got our dad and his belongings back home, and that he could stay with my older brother. They also agreed to help take the burden off of me, because they didn't realize how much I was actually dealing with. After having my father squared away, I drove to a mental health clinic and rehabilitation center and voluntarily checked myself in for five days. While there, I was able to start the detox process from all the vodka I've been consuming the last few months and receive some much needed counseling and therapy. I will continue counseling and therapy sessions and attend AA meetings down here while I finish tying up loose ends so I can also return home. They have also linked me up with a counseling center back home and provided me information on support groups I can join to keep me responsible and honest with the substance abuse. I don't fully expect anyone to have read this far. But, this was a embarrassingly low moment in my life that I deeply regret ever happened. To those who reached out to me that day, some who barely knew me I appreciated reading those messages when I got home from the clinic today. I'm not sure how much I will be around the next week or two as I tie up all my loose ends in Miami and try to get my life back on track once I return home, but I did just want to provide an update and explanation for anyone who was concerned or wondering.