We didn’t start the drama (Kovaze Song parody of We didn’t start the fire)

🎵 🎵 Logged in Monday, made an alliance,
Swore we’d have eternal compliance,
Tuesday morning, things got weird,
Half the group had disappeared. Private chats are multiplying. Everybody’s over-lying,
“You’re my number one!” they say,
 to fourteen different people that day. Player’s crying in confessional. Calling moves “purely professional,”
 Then they post a twelve-page rant
Explaining why they’re actually a saint. We didn’t start the drama!
 It was always burning 
Since the cast was forming!
 We didn’t start the drama!
 Though we tried to stop it,
Somebody screenshot it! Someone won immunity,
Immediately lost community,
Now they’re acting shocked and hurt,
 like they didn’t throw us under dirt. There’s a secret final two, actually there’s thirty-two,
Every player in the game 
claims they made the exact same claim. Host asks for a simple vote,
People write a novel note, 
Three appendices and charts
. Breaking down everybody’s hearts. 
We didn’t start the drama!
 It was always burning
 since the cast was forming! 
We didn’t start the drama!
 Somebody got blindsided,
 then a group chat got divided! “Trust me, bro.”
Famous last words.
“Easy vote.”
Even worse words. “I’ve got numbers.”
No, you don’t.
“Everyone agrees.”
No, they won’t. Somebody leaks a screenshot,
Suddenly the server’s hot,
Everybody’s Sherlock Holmes,
Investigating ten time zones. Survivor tribe has lost again,
 Somehow still has sixteen plans,
 Amazing Race leg starts at noon,
Someone asks, “Are we merging soon?” Big Brother HoH is crowned. Five minutes later word gets around. Every secret, every deal,
 has the lifespan of a banana peel. Then the finale finally arrives. Nobody knows how they survived. Jury speeches, bitter tears,
 arguments from seven years. We definitely started the drama!
 We were all contributing,
Every single evening!
 We definitely started the drama!
 And next season’s starting,
 so we’ll all restart it! We definitely started the drama! 
Screenshots, idols, fake deals, panic!
 Somehow it’s organic! We definitely started the drama!
 See you all tomorrow,
 for the exact same sorrow! 🎵 🎵