Lemme give yall a lil

Insight as to why I can be a lil emotionally unstable and quick to assume/react. SA'd by my mums ex as a child , mentally and physically abused by my mum constantly gaslit to believe I deserved it . Bullied because it severely affected me as a child . My dad and mum broke up when I was 2 and then I was stuck between their constant fighting. Fast forward a few years just as I'm getting myself together and over my trauma . My dad is murdered during covid, I was his only child so I had to ID his body and deal with both the police investigation and funeral and sorting his estate out by myself which included cleaning his apartment where there was items covered in his blood the police left . His family was only interested in getting money. I made sure they got none . 3 months later my grandma passes away, and she was pretty much my rock and the only stability I had growing up . So it was a double whammy . And I was still in the middle of dealing with the murder case. The police ended up botching the investigation losing evidence and then blaming covid for it. And not long after realising I have ADHD so learning how to process and manage that. So all in all , caps been through the trenches, and it's made me quick to assume the world is against me, or that everything's fucking up and it's my fault. I am working on it , and working to get myself to a healthier place , but honestly it's hard work and some days I really fucking struggle to regulate myself . It's also why I sometimes can lash out and assume the worst of the people I'm closest too . Because most of the people I've been hurt by mentally and physically have been the ones I should be able to trust most. But I'm getting there I'm still fighting and I won't be giving up any time soon . Tagging a few people who might of experienced this recently so they have a better understanding of why it happened . And so they know it wasn't their fault❤️🫶 sorry for the novel 🥲😂 hausofkimchi medusaluh luna messyj melanie carltonRS Doom lexey & anyone else this applies to it's 7:30 am and I know I'm forgetting a few Edit - thank you all for the kind comments and care i truly appreciate it, I'd responds to all of you individually but going through this has me drained af today and I need some R&R appreciate you all so much ❤️🫶